[as strong as death]

Place me like a seal over heart,
like a seal upon your arm.
For love is as strong as death,
its jealousy as enduring as the grave.
Love flashes like fire,
the brightest kind of flame.
Many waters cannot quench love,
nor can rivers drown it.

song of songs 8:6-7

my heart cannot,
will not,
be satisfied
until i experiance this love.

my life tends to be a rollercoaster of emotions,
one day i'm good and all my struggles seem so far away,
and the sky is so close...
next thing you know,
ive gone through a loop and
im dangerously close to crashing to the ground.

my mind.
its a battlefield.
i know who i am.
but do i really?
the person i see in the mirror
...who is she?
those are questions,
i sometimes cannot answer.

i have a hole in my heart.
its a hole only He can fill.
but i must, i must, i MUST,
allow him to heal me,
to renew me,
to transform the image i see in the mirror.

when i am grounded in a love that is
stronger than death
only then will i experience
that which will satisfy.
i mean, really,
what human, what thing, what knowledge, what encounter...
provides a love that is STRONGER THAN DEATH?

our God is a jealous God.
he craves our love,
just as much as we crave his.
when i wander,
when i take a step away,
he hurts.
it pains him....
but he will never give up....
as enduring as the grave

oh god.
thank you.
thank you for loving a wretched sinner like me.

he has made everything beautiful in its time...

[im sorry, its just a ramble of emotions right now]