i'm tired of being sad,
and i'm tired of being around sad people.
yes, i have some screwed up relationships,
and yes, its all been piling on top of me all at once...
but, i am still so much better off than millions of other people in the world.

I read a GREAT quote, and i don't have it on me,
but it pretty much said that being others centered
is the cure for any sickness...depression, heart break, etc.
when you are pouring yourself out,
you become focused on the needs of others, and their hurts,
and slowly you begin to heal....you can't focus on two things at once!

Thats so true.
I want to pour my life out,
i want to influence others.
I'm going to start trying to be involved in community programs,
I applied for Big Brother Big Sister,
I'm going to run in the Race for the Cure,
and I'm looking at other things, like Habitat for Humanity.

I've been talking to a friend about opportunities at her church as well, so we'll see how that pans out. If you have any other suggestions for me, they would be much appreciated :)



loveeee these red newport cordones by tomsshoes.com
i want them!
a mere $70, thats all...


skeletons in my closet

you're gone,
im here.
you said forever.
and we laughed
we cried
and we never thought that forever would end.

we dedicated songs to each other
took silly pictures
whispered secrets in the dark till we fell asleep.
you were my best friend
my confidante.
the one person i knew i could rely on.
the one person that would be always be there for me
the one person who would love me no matter what.

or so i thought.
but you're gone
and im here.
i have questions
that will never be answered
but there is one question that will always hang over my head
why did you stop being my friend?
i don't like thinking about the answer
it hurts too much,
and sometimes, i just pretend the truth is altogether something different.
but i will always know...
i wasn't enough.
i was too human.
i fell
and you didnt want a fallen person for a friend.
i changed...
who knew that thought that 'forever' had
'or until you change' silently, invisibly attached.

'you don't get to call me a whore! when i met you, i thought i had met the person i would spend the rest of my life with. i was done. so all the boys, and all the bars, and all the obvious daddy issues...who cared? because I was done. you left me! you chose addison! i'm all glued back together now. i make no apologies for how i chose to repair what you broke. you don't get to call me a whore!'

- meredith (greys anatomy)


days of yesteryear

times change,
people move,
habits are formed,
habits are killed,
beauty fades,
love is lost,
new life becomes,
rebirth begins.

how to hold on,
how to move on,
how to begin,
how to finish,
how to love,
how to lose,
how to breathe,
how to be.

its a fight and a war
to see the beauty and the peace
but isn't it so much sweeter once we've learned that
it's ok to hurt,
its ok to cry,
but you have to get up, wake up,
and become.