||discouraged||

i feel really frustrated and discouraged.
i'm overwhelmed.
my car is broken...
i'm going to pick up tony's dad tonight and
hopefully he can start it and take it back to work on it...
but it has to be fixed by next monday night...
otherwise, i'm in deep poop.
its just so frustrating!
i don't have money to fix it, really,
because of the wedding this weekend.
and i wish i could just have a new car...
i don't know if the lord is trying to teach me about
pride or patience or what
but its hard.hard.hard.hard.
i wish i had a fairy godmother to just pour$5000 in my lap
not to buy a new car
but at least one that will run consistently and i can drive out of the city.
it doesn't work that way though.
i have to work for what i want...
and i have to get enough credit for what i want...
and its going to be a while.

school is going to be a lot more expensive that last semester.
i have to put down $210 for a deposit
(I'm doing a payment plan...classes are $420 overall)
and my government book is about $100
my pysch book is about $100
and my math book is about $50
and the lab costs $150.
Thats $400 for books...and plus that $210
thats a lot of money out of this next paycheck.
ughhh.

i know the lord provides.
he always, always does.
faithful.
but my heart!
be still my heart.
i have never gone without what i need.