[greyandyellow]

i decided whenever i move,
wherever i move,
my new color theme for my room/bedroom is going to be
dun dun dunnnnn

grey and yellow!

yes, i know, its kind of a popular color combo right now,
especially for weddings
(im sorry - im a wedding blog fanatic!)
but hey, don't judge me.
it's my room anyways.
haha.

anyways, in searching for different ideas,
these are the pictures i came across:

dwell

southern living
cute right?
i know they are two different styles,
but the idea is what i'm getting at.
i like the striped bedspread a lot.
it feels...clean!

faithful!

God is just so faithful to me.

I am so thankful that I have people in my life

that continue to encourage me,

and build me up,

and speak truth to me.

i need it.

it's always exactly what i need to hear.

a few days ago,

liz was encouraging me to stop being such a people pleaser....

to focus on pleasing God, and no one else.

and during that time to today,

i kept dwelling on two things:

1.  i am enough.

no matter how loud, 

obnoxious, 

emotional, 

silly, 

trusting, 

passionate 

or whatever....

i am enough in Christ. 

this is how I was made, 

and i am quite enough

for the ones who truly love me.

2.  to get rid of my pride and do the Bible study 

Lies Women Believe

that my mom has been telling me to do

but i haven't wanted to because.....

i'm just prideful.

today, i spoke to my old coworker 

and very good friend, Jessica Villalpando

and she truly encouraged me a lot.

She mentioned she's been doing a Bible study called...

yes, Lies Women Believe,

and she kept thinking about me on the chapter about

yes, being a people pleaser.

talk about humbling.

I picked it up today,

asked forgiveness for being so hardheaded

and prayed God would transform my life through this study.

please, pray for me as I let God 

weed out the garbage in my life.

so much on my mind...

-two exams today
-worried about my lingering sickness
-missing my family
-thinking about the future, trying to be content in the present
-feeling restless, needing adventure
-thankful for the lessons in life, hard as they may be
-missing people, missing relationships

update:

my exams are over and done with.  i dont know how i did on my second one, cause i studied so much for my first one.

also, please be in prayer for my friend...

he dove into a shallow part of a pool and is paralyzed from the waist down.

he has a 5% chance of walking again.  

pray that he will come to know jesus through this.

to my pops

happy fathers day :)

you are the most hardworking man

i've ever met.

growing up,

you were always up before any of us,

making sure things got done.

i can always count on you 

to know exactly what you're talking about.

you're the best when it comes to

anything that needs to be fixed.

i don't think i've thanked you often enough for that...

so, thank you.

thank you for giving me my love of music,

thank you for being the spiritual leader,

thank you for being patient with me,

thank you for supporting me,

thank you for being there,

thank you for trying to work past our issues,

thank you for all those things i never said thank you for....

thank you for being the dad i was meant to have.

i love you.

you and me - dave matthews band

my roommate liz introduced me

to this song the other night,

and it immediately captured my heart.

this is how i want a man to love me someday.

it isn't always logical,

(is love ever?)

but i desire

this element of adventure

in a love.

wanna pack your bags
something small
take what you need and we disappear
without a trace we'll be gone, gone
moon and the stars will follow the car
and then when we get to the ocean
gonna take a boat to the end of the world
all the way to the end of the world

oh when the kids are old enough
we gon' teach them to fly

you and i we're not tied to the ground
not falling but rising like rolling around
eyes closed above the rooftops
eyes closed were gonna spin through the stars
our arms wide as the sky we gon ride the blue
all the way to the end of the world
to the end of the world

Oh when the kids are old enough
we gon teach them to fly

we can always look back on what we did
always memory of you and me baby
right now its you and me forever girl
you know we could do better than
anything that we did
you know that you and me
we could do anything

you and me together
we could do anything, baby
you and me together yes,yes
the two of us together
we could do anything baby
you and me together yes, yes
two of us together, yes, yes
two of us together
we could do anything baby

anchors away!

i've always wanted an achor tattoo -

but this would work in it's stead nicely.

oh, it's tiffany's??

yes, please!

[re-run]

i posted this two years and some odd months ago....
and its funny, 
after two years,
one city change,
and a million different life lessons,
i can still find truth in the same verses -
they speak the same, and they speak anew.
////////////////////////////////////////////////


Place me like a seal over heart,
like a seal upon your arm.
For love is as strong as death,
its jealousy as enduring as the grave.
Love flashes like fire,
the brightest kind of flame.
Many waters cannot quench love,
nor can rivers drown it.

song of songs 8:6-7

my heart cannot, 
will not,
be satisfied
until i experiance this love.

my mind.
its a battlefield.
i know who i am.
but do i really?
the person i see in the mirror...
who is she?
those are questions, i sometimes cannot answer.

i have a hole in my heart.
its a hole only He can fill.
but i must, i must, i MUST,
allow him to heal me, to renew me, 
to transform the image i see in the mirror.

when i am grounded in a love that is 
stronger than death
only then will i experience that which will satisfy.
i mean, really,
what human, what thing, what knowledge, what encounter...
provides a love that is STRONGER THAN DEATH?

our God is a jealous God.
he craves our love, just as much as we crave his.
when i wander, when i take a step away,
he hurts. 
it pains him....
but he will never give up.
...as enduring as the grave

oh god.
thank you.
thank you for loving a wretched sinner like me.

he has made everything beautiful in its time...

breathe

there are so many things

that are heavy on my heart.

but i am crippled in my words

and hindered by fear.

this is me.

in all my imperfection.

i am clumsy,

i am weak,

i am human.

but within all of this,

i am beautiful

because i know how to love.

because i am willing to be vulnerable

becuase i am willing to take a risk

because my trust is in jesus christ.

i am on this 

wonderfulpainfulexcitingcolorfulbreathtaking

rollercoaster called life.

and there is this immense emotion called

fear

that continues to try to stop me 

from enjoying the ride.

after all i've been through

after all i have been told

i still have a desperation to know 

that love still prevails.

that there is a trust that cannot be broken

that despite brokenness, 

there can be healing.

let your face shine on your servant; 

       save me in your unfailing love.

 

sex and the city

tonight,

i am going to spend time with some of my favorite ladies

- onscreen and offscreen.

oh yes.  

sex and the city.

with liz, mel, sarah, joy and some other very lovely ladies.

the reviews supposedly have been terrible,

but i am still so excited!